ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
