i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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