I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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