had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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