My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
