We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
