Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
