She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
