i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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