3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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