I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize