I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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