I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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