ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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