we have pet lesbian snakes
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
