Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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