16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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