There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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