We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
