i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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