I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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