And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
