ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off