Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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