Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
