are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
