You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
