discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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