Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
