doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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