Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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