At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
