careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
