At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
