i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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