Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
