I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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