i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
