I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
