Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
