Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
