do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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