i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order