Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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(952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7

Replies (3) Good night (1304) Bad night (552)
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(301): View more from Maryland

you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.

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(301): you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop. http://tfl.nu/0o9n

Replies (19) Good night (7302) Bad night (790)
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(530): View more from California

So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant

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(530): So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant http://tfl.nu/6mtv

Replies (17) Good night (3372) Bad night (827)
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(917): View more from New York City

so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

(1-917): View more from New York City

you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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(917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm

Replies (78) Good night (15705) Bad night (1100)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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(720): I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands... http://tfl.nu/51q8

Replies (25) Good night (1444) Bad night (4135)
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(970): View more from Colorado

But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"

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(970): But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed" http://tfl.nu/2s0k

Replies (6) Good night (1176) Bad night (2750)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important

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(603): you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important http://tfl.nu/xvgc

Replies (3) Good night (3154) Bad night (1114)
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(585): View more from New York

Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up

(1-585): View more from New York

Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit

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(585): Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up (1-585): Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit http://tfl.nu/gck7

Replies (6) Good night (2523) Bad night (1153)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

walking out with herpes. that would be worse

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(701): nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information (1-701): walking out with herpes. that would be worse http://tfl.nu/edgz

Replies (12) Good night (2671) Bad night (701)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted

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(401): remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted http://tfl.nu/rrq3

Replies (7) Good night (1497) Bad night (570)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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(306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr

Replies (8) Good night (1298) Bad night (583)
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(315): View more from New York

She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her

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(315): She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her http://tfl.nu/g7bc

Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (440)
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(773): View more from Illinois

He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.

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(773): He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing. http://tfl.nu/5ouo

Replies (12) Good night (370) Bad night (713)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.

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(541): Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low. http://tfl.nu/8hxe

Replies (0) Good night (145) Bad night (156)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today

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(+44): If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today http://tfl.nu/7pvc

Replies (4) Good night (263) Bad night (63)

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