it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.