Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.