Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.