Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1787) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell him to stop quoting family guy

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  (412): omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say (1-412): tell him to stop quoting family guy http://tfl.nu/1hbe
  Replies (18) Good night (1608) Bad night (721)
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  (518): View more from New York

  After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"

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  (518): After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you" http://tfl.nu/k4ce
  Replies (42) Good night (1411) Bad night (6764)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties

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  (480): dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties http://tfl.nu/qw8t
  Replies (68) Good night (788) Bad night (4757)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

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  (917): still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/v49x
  Replies (6) Good night (1170) Bad night (3766)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You tried to poop in the sink last night.

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  (856): You tried to poop in the sink last night. http://tfl.nu/6e7d
  Replies (18) Good night (1366) Bad night (4379)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.

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  (732): four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day. http://tfl.nu/q3s7
  Replies (20) Good night (4145) Bad night (1717)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.

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  (941): i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet. http://tfl.nu/jjy9
  Replies (13) Good night (3711) Bad night (1222)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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  (608): A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood. http://tfl.nu/4fl8
  Replies (7) Good night (2186) Bad night (1843)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

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  (717): Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake. http://tfl.nu/07i4
  Replies (14) Good night (1748) Bad night (2616)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?

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  (978): and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy? http://tfl.nu/x9f9
  Replies (15) Good night (1637) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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  (732): apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums http://tfl.nu/96xk
  Replies (12) Good night (1116) Bad night (1960)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.

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  (631): Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down. http://tfl.nu/0h9y
  Replies (4) Good night (2065) Bad night (491)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.

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  (540): I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped. http://tfl.nu/us3c
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?

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  (440): I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card? http://tfl.nu/hh1f
  Replies (2) Good night (487) Bad night (528)

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