I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
