It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
