you didnt know i had herpes?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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