We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
