He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
