Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
