oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My liver just had a heart attack.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He shit in the fireplace
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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