So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
