If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How external is "for external use only"?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
