We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.