As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital