I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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