I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
