You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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