So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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