Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
