No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
