we're blogging at a bar
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
