4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
